Pushing In At
The Circle K
by
John Weagly
“Calm down, motherfucker!”
“Don’t call me that! You can call me anything else, but don’t call me that!”
I was at the Circle K at Broadway and Sheridan. There were three of us at the register. While the guy in front of me was paying for gas, the guy behind me said, “Hey! Let me cut in front of you! This is all I got!” He showed me a Snickers.
“This is all I got.” I showed him my bottle of Coke.
“Come on man,” he continued, his voice rising. “Let me go! Come on! What about helping hands and supporting our neighbor and ‘we rise by lifting others’ and…”
That’s when I told him to calm down and he didn’t like my suggestion.
“Does it offend you because you’ve actually engaged in intercourse with your progenitor?” I asked.
He looked at me like he had no idea what I’d said.
Gas man finished up and I stepped to the register. “Just this,” I said to the clerk, showing him my soda. “And all the cash you got,” I said, showing him my gun.
As I left with my haul, I shot the pushy motherfucker in the foot.
-the end-
Bio:
John Weagly is a seven-time Derringer Award nominee (winning once in 2008). He’s also been nominated for the Spinetingler Award and the Pushcart Prize. As a playwright, over one hundred of his plays have received productions by theaters on four continents. A collection of his short speculative plays, TINY FLIGHTS OF FANTASY, has been taught at Columbia College. You can find more of his short stories in the collections THE UNDERTOW OF SMALL TOWN DREAMS and DANCING IN THE KNEE-DEEP MIDNIGHT.
“Gas man” - best descriptive of a nothing character I have seen in some time. Keep on. +1
That was twisty! Really enjoyed it.