The Redhead Wasn’t Enough by Keith Roysdon
from Seven Deadly Sins: A PUNK NOIR Magazine series
“You come in every night and you don’t drink,” the bartender said. “You don’t gamble. You don’t go for any of the women I’ve seen throwing themselves at you.”
Zimmerman tossed back a couple of Beer Nuts.
“The Seven Deadly Sins are my resume, man. But now I’m gonna run my grandfather’s company. He wants me to shake all my addictions. If I do, I become CEO and get a million-dollar bonus.” He looked around the bar. “He’s spying on me to make sure I really beat ‘em.”
He held up the empty bowl. “Gimme more of these.”
The bartender shrugged. “We’re all out. You finished ‘em.”
“What the fuck kind of bar is this, running out of Beer Nuts? Can you run down to the Gas and Gulp and buy me some?”
The bartender shook his head. Zimmerman cursed and threw the empty bowl down the bar.
The bartender picked up the phone. “What are you …?” Zimmerman began.
“Hello, Mr. Zimmerman, it’s me. I hate to tell you, but your grandson failed the test. No, not the Jack Daniels. Not the redhead you sent.” His gaze flicked to the empty bowl. “It was the Beer Nuts.”
This story appears as part of Seven Deadly Sins, a PUNK NOIR Magazine series, originally published July 2025.
Bio
Keith Roysdon is a Tennessee writer whose 1984-set high school crime novel THAT OCTOBER is out now. His short fiction has been published by Punk Noir, Shotgun Honey, in Cowboy Jamboree Press’ MOTEL anthology, Hoosier Noir and Rock and a Hard Place. More than 60 of his pop culture articles have been published by CrimeReads.
PUNK NOIR, the online literary and arts magazine that looks at the world at its most askew, casting a bloodshot eye over the written word, film, music, television and more.
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Damn nuts! They would be my downfall too!
Fun story, Keith! And SPOILER ALERT..
...that barkeep reminds me of the "friendly" but actually sneaky counterman in The Blue Gardenia who turns out to be willing to turn Anne Baxter at her most adorably foxy over to the cops! Who CAN ya trust in this shady woild, I ask ya!!