Martin Simonson III had the nicest yard in the whole damned state, in his oh-so-humble opinion.
It had been showcased in Midwest Living, and should have been on the cover of Better Homes and Gardens, but they gave the spot to that poseur in Medina who hired everything out. Martin? He was a real man who did all his own work.

Neighbors routinely saw Martin on his knees, rubbing his palms lightly over the lawn, a beatific smile stretching his features; they didn’t see Mrs. Simonson lying in bed, eyes closed, touching herself, taking matters into her own hands while her husband fondles the foliage.
They also saw Martin sharpening the blades of his lawnmower, making it easier to evenly cut the blades of grass; they don’t see his daughter, alone and ignored, running blades over her upper thighs, hoping to feel something, anything, rivers of red flowing down her legs while her dad ogles his sea of green out back.
And last, they saw Martin atop his porch, surveying his domain, waving at people admiring his handiwork; they don’t see that same hand as it beats the dog, Wilson, for peeing on his perfect turf.
Ahh, the good life.
This story appears as part of Seven Deadly Sins, a PUNK NOIR Magazine series, originally published July 2025.
Bio
Andrew Monge (X/Bluesky) lives in Minnesota with his wife and kids. A computer programmer by day and a voracious reader by night, he is a lifelong introvert who only finds his voice while writing. His work has appeared in Punk Noir Magazine, Trash Cat Lit, Urban Pigs Press, and Shotgun Honey.
PUNK NOIR, the online literary and arts magazine that looks at the world at its most askew, casting a bloodshot eye over the written word, film, music, television and more.
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Ouch, Andrew! That's a hard hitter. Great writing, as usual.
Enjoyed this very much. Well done!